Kent lost his sunglasses on our 40 minute flight from PDX to SEA; the first casualty.
I'm reading Enjoying India to learn some of the customs and what qualifies as appropriate behavior. J D Viharini, the author, has traveled as a long woman throughout India for many years and the reviews are very good. I think it is definitely making me over-cautious because she spent so much time completely alone in a country where rape is the fastest growing crime. But, if racism is anywhere near as big a problem in India as in the US, it would be better to abide as strictly to the customs as possible in attempt to soften the stereotypes applied to the western woman. One of these stereotypes, Viharini says, is that they are very easy to sleep with, which is fed by the Hollywood film industry portrayals of women. I have always been disgusted by the Hollywood images of women and men, the impact these images have on young people and now I am appalled to learn that this impact has reached around the world to India.
So I must be modest. This means always keeping my front and backside covered with long draping cloth like that found on a salwar kameez and always drape a scarf over you. Viharini advises that the scarf should never be sheer. I should never look at men directly in the eye, but still look at their face. I can not be affectionate with Kent at all in public because this is an indication that I am dissatisfied with our romantic relationship and/or I am available. Touching, even accidental bumping, is not OK in most places in India because to touch is to take a bit of someone away. However, once you have been welcomed into a family, touching like brothers and sisters is OK. And even as I see many Indian women breaking all of these rules, Viharini advises that it will not be OK for me to.
Some helpful points to remember: Indians will give completely incorrect directions to try to be amicable. This sounds a lot like Portland. If you ask someone for help and they can't help you, they will spend an extra 5 minutes giving you extraneous information in an attempt to be friendly. It is wise to ask open ended questions like, "What kinds of cloth do you have available?" rather than "Is this pure cotton?" to avoid agreeable answers. Also, by asking open-ended questions in all situations, you open yourself up a great deal more to learning the philosophy, mythology and wisdom of this abundant ancient culture.
"Aur", pronounced "or" means "and" in Hindi.
Wobbling your head from side to side usually means yes, but may be just an agreeable yes which they don't really want to fulfill. I would like if the U.S. adopted the head wobble. It was always very warm and amicable.
